“If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to.” — Lao Tzu
“Winners quit all the time. They just quit the right stuff at the right time.” — Seth Godin
“To be free is to be able to walk away from everything.” — Nassim Taleb
Learning when to quit is just as important as staying resilient. Your success and happiness won’t come from sticking to every single thing you start. It’ll come from knowing which things to stick to and walking away from the rest.
I’ve learned that the hard part is telling the difference between what’s worth another try and what’s time to let go. When you get new and important information, about the world or even about yourself, don’t be afraid to change your mind. I’ve learned this firsthand. I probably wouldn’t be able to walk today without a lot of pain if I hadn’t walked away from basketball after the three ACL surgeries.
When you’re facing a new problem, there’s an idea from Astro Teller called monkeys and pedestals. Imagine you’re trying to get a monkey to juggle torches while standing on top of a pedestal. If you decide that’s a goal worth chasing, you have to work on the hard part first, which is training the monkey.
We often fall into the trap of building the pedestal first. It’s easy, we know we can do it, and it makes us feel like we’re making progress. But that progress is just an illusion. It’s procrastination. If it turns out the monkey can’t be trained, then all the time and money you spent on that pedestal is wasted. Tackling the monkey first gets you to the truth faster. It saves your heart from sinking into a project that was never going to work.
I want you to keep an open mind. Stay flexible, no matter how old you get or how much you think you know. Keep yourself honest about what matters to you.
Don’t tie who you are too tightly to your work, your career, or even your relationships. Those things are not your identity. When you quit a project, you aren’t quitting yourself. Have the courage to walk away from the things that don’t fit anymore. I remember when I was younger and basketball felt like everything. Walking away was hard, but my surgeon made it clear what was in store for me if I got hurt again. I’m glad I listened and had the opportunity to run around freely with both of you.
As Annie Duke says:
“While grit can get you to stick to hard things that are worthwhile, grit can also get you to stick to hard things that are no longer worthwhile. The trick is in figuring out the difference.”
Remember, failure isn’t about missing a finish line. Real failure is just failing to use a good process to make your choices. Don’t just ask if you hit the goal. Ask yourself what you’ve achieved on your journey and learned along the way.